It's like someone I met once said - When you return to Sweden one day, the cities have changed so much that your home country doesn't even feel like your home anymore. I know many Swedes who only go back there to visit their loves ones, but the cities are completely different than what they remember. And you will never feel completely at home in the new country either. So you feel homeless in a way. I have a roof over my head, but my heart will always be slightly up in the air and not know where to settle down. I am used to the California weather by now, but I have a hard time adjusting to the stars sitting in different spots of the sky, than what they do in Sweden. It should feel comforting to look at them, yet they are located in a way that I am not used to. So instead it becomes uncomfortable and strange. It used to make me sad and homesick to look at stars because of that. But ever since talking to Sofie about it, I have tried to have a more positive outlook. It's about just appreciating that we are looking at the same stars at the end of the day. Who cares if they are a little bit upside down and bonkers!
I miss the smell of a deep, green forest that is covered with an early morning fog... soft moss on every rock... gallons of red, yellow and blue berries to pick... nature's golden chanterelle mushrooms that are waiting to get fried in butter and put on a sandwich. The fresh air and the open roads are always close by.
When standing in a Scandinavian forest watching the fog dance over the water - your imagination runs wild. Your mind gets filled with the ideas of mythological creatures that you read stories of as a child. You know it's not true and yet you can't help but to feel the excitement of it. Summer solstice isn't noticed or recognized here in America. The nights are dark no matter what time of the year it is. In Sweden it's like magic. Nature's magic. Which is the best kind. There are a few weeks every summer when the sun doesn't go down at all. It lingers... not at the top of the sky, but at the bottom so it looks like a constant sunrise. This spectacular time is beautiful. In some places of the country the sun does that for the whole summer. It's a time for children to roam outside and be free to enjoy their summer holiday, run in grass, pick flowers, climb over fences from one old farm or meadow to another. Especially on Midsummer you need to pick seven or nine flowers from different areas and then sleep with them under your pillow. You are supposed to dream of who your true love is. This is an old tradition and since we have more big cities now, it's hard to keep it alive. But many of us love it and still try to make the most of it when we celebrate Midsummer close to nature.
But if there is one season that feels and looks the same here as in Sweden - it's fall. We are finally getting to that time of year. The weather is cooling down. Nothing is better right now than waking up and feeling the breeze from the open window, hearing the birds chirping, feel the warm sun shine in my eyes and have a kitty snuggled up against me because they are feeling the chilly crisp of the air too. Me and Nick can finally start cuddling again. The whole summer has consisted of us sleeping in this horribly warm room and barely wanted to touch each other because we felt so hot, humid and sticky. This is happiness to us. The simple little things.